Bloggo

19/01/2012

I really need to get back into the blog game.

I remember I used to love just sitting and typing non-sensical things and thought processes. People read them. I know, not many, but there were people who wanted to hear what I had to say. Whether it was the people closest to me or people I have never met. The words I was willing to type out were being read by people.
That is a sort of big thing in a meta way, if you really look at it. The whole idea of blogs, online journals, has become so convoluted, yet people still read. People have a strive to read. And just like reality TV, people will always want a means to peer into the lives of other people.
Does this mean that humanity as almost a whole thinks that their lives aren’t interesting enough? Have we all just been brainwashed into thinking that something put on the internet or (god forbid) television is somehow more important than our own lives?
I don’t have the answer. I read blogs. Mostly about the design and video game industries, I like information. However, I will find myself wandering on to personal opinion pieces, and that will logically move itself to plain old personal opinions. I will (infrequently) read about people’s day, their trudge through life and the thoughts that they have while they do it.
We turn to Twitter to read about people who are “obviously” more interesting than us; actors, comedians, media moguls, corporate entities to feed ourselves some semblance of something we think is more interesting of ourselves, yet we always go back to the “community” of people who live day-to-day lives.
Look at Instagram. Who are the most interesting people who are being followed? Yes, celebrities will always take a massive piece of the pie, but so often I come across profiles that have hundreds or thousands of followers of people who really only chronicle their day-to-day life. I am surely someone who is guilty of this.
Are we really so starved to read a story about another human being at the cost of our own? Would we rather read about the cereal someone ate for breakfast today than to crack open a book, watch a documentary, learn something?
I honestly can’t say what I was aiming for with this blog when I started it. I want to write more, I want to be interesting, I want to be read; but with a sea of amazing literature and documented science and history already available, I can’t help but think I am adding to the landfill that is the blogosphere.

I should be doing something more, but until I do, I’ll be doing this shit.

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Rope Ladder.

24/10/2011

How do you know when you really start to lose it? Is there any undeniable actions that make your last straw actually your last?

Lately I have noticed myself getting worse and worse. Drinking more, sleeping less, spending more money, going into work later, etc.  When will I know that I have hit rock bottom? Will I have to lose my house and every one that has ever cared about me? Will I need to contract cancer or some other incurable disease?
I find myself thinking about these things a lot.

Did I make the right choices in my life? Am I as smart and able as I think I am?

It’s easy to sit and be introspective, ponder the philosophy of your own id. It’s hard to actually do something about it. I know this better than anyone. I sit and wallow in self misery and pity while I watch the entire life I try to convince people is stable fall apart. Instead of doing the things I need to do, I have another drink and convince myself it will happen no matter what I do.

For someone who doesn’t believe in fate, I spend an awful lot of time sitting around waiting for things to be handed to me.

I decided today that I am going to make a huge change in my life. I can’t get into specifics now but it does involve me taking my business(es) into my hands and bringing them to the forefront of my attention. This is as much an opportunity for me to prove myself as it is an act of desperation. When you’re already feeling like you’re at the end of your rope, you might as well try to pull yourself up the rope you actually want to be holding.

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Drive.

October 20, 2011

Today, for whatever reason, there was a severe lack of mail to be delivered at work. I was able to get in at 8:45, get my mail sorted and deliver it by 12:00. That is including my 3 (or 4) obligatory “lazy breaks” I am always prone to take. I went out for lunch and [...]

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Deja Vu

June 6, 2011

I am going to make a post this week, but in the meantime, listen to this and respect. Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don’t know, feels like I been down this road before. So lonely and cold, it’s like something takes over me, soon as I go home and close the door. Kinda [...]

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MadMen: The New Class

March 29, 2011

This is why MadMen wouldn’t work if it was set in the present day. I am ashamed of the times we live in.

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Even though…

March 21, 2011

Even though I feel this depression, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I feel this sadness, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I feel this loneliness, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I feel this anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I feel this anger, I [...]

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A Darwinian Theory of Beauty

March 15, 2011

I have spent most of the time I should have been working tonight  (or playing Bulletstorm, as my Amazon order finally came in today) instead watching various TED talks. I don’t regularly find myself on this site, but when I do, I always seem to spend irrational amounts of time on it. Tonight, of the [...]

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Back in Blech.

March 14, 2011

The blog has been down and out for a while now. Not that it was a big deal to anyone who wasn’t googling whether or not Die Antwoord is a joke or not (to date, my most frequently visited post). I transferred hosts recently, but hadn’t had the time to work out the kinks that [...]

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Technical Difficulties

March 10, 2011

The site is having issues since I changed servers. I will try to get on it tonight to try and fix it. SORRIEZX INTURNETZFANS.  NEVRMENTY 2 HURT U.

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Out With the Old the With In.

February 7, 2011

Certain things are hard for me to comprehend. Change is one of them. I spend so much time on my own and I often am able to go as long as years between talking to some people. Time passes swiftly, and so do the things you thought you knew about someone. I have recently had [...]

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