Untitled Post (^)

07/07/2008

I`m feeling quite awkward right now, I won`t lie.

There are certain things that I feel I should care more about. There are things that should devastate me right now to the point of tears, but they aren`t.

Sometimes I worry I have become so far detached from reality that nothing will ever make sad for real again. Like will it take something so destructive as, say, a death of a loved one to bring me back down.

Would that even do it?

I want to feel normal. I want to be normal. I want to live a normal life. I want people to like me. I want to be desireable. I want to be pretty. I want to have big muscles. I want to have talent. I want to be everything everyone has ever wanted. I want to feel loved. I want to give love. I want to create. I want to destroy.

Im going to lay down now, and watch strange wilderness. I have to go to work tomorrow, I really wish I didnt have to.

Thank you, for the Ice Cream, and the movie.

I can’t wait till I have more money for my car and ebay.


We sent out the S.O.S. call.
It was a quarter past four, in the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea. Four months of calm seas (only)
To be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point.

They call ’em rogues. They travel fast and alone.
One hundred foot faces of God’s good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk,
‘Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

The hole in the hull defied the crew’s attempts,
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio,
And half buried bow.

Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef.

The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my
Love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.

They say that the captain stays fast with the ship,
Through still and storm,
But this ain’t the Dakota,
And the water’s so cold,
(We) won’t have to fight for long.

(This is the end.)
This story’s old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
(This is the calm.)
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
(We are the risen.)
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
(After the storm.)
I spoke the words but never gave a thought of what they all could mean,
(Rest in the sea.)
I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
(Washed up on the beach.)
You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.

This is the end.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Misty Blue July 8, 2008 at 6:57 pm

You’re welcome. You know I love ya.

Anonymous July 10, 2008 at 12:02 am

People don’t like you.. they love you. You are one of the most desireable people I know. You aren’t pretty.. you’re beautiful, in so many ways. You have more talent than most people could even wish for.. you just haven’t discovered it all yet. You are everything anyone has ever wanted, they’re just not ready for you yet. You are loved.. you just don’t see it. You have the potential to give love.. you just haven’t met her yet, or you don’t realize that you have.

Misty Blue July 10, 2008 at 8:02 am

Wtf that comment is way creepy

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