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I’m rounding that time where I think I might be ready to come home

I can’t blame the guys for being themselves, hell they put up with me and my terrible jokes.

Im just starting to feel claustrophobic, I need space and time alone, but I cnat get it no matter what. I want some Lyndhurst, but no one else can “afford” it.

I tried to make a homemade “Arnold Palmer” last night. Which is just supposed to be Iced Tea and Lemonade. My mix made what seemed to be a shitty knock off, though it was made with a mix of Arizona, and the expensive lemonade… By all logic it should have been 10,000 times better.

I guess because I am not a Professional Golfer turned drink mogul, I cannot just throw two drinks at each other and hope they make a delicious mix.

We spent yesterday in the city, it was really fun, for the second day in a row, we just walked around seeing things that were in movies and stuff. We ended up trying to track down the empire state building, by looking at the tallest building with lights on it, and just walking till we were at it.

We found two Doppelganger versions of it, before realizing that it was around 12:30am. Though in all of yesterday we did see:

-Wall Street Stock Exchange
-Statue of Liberty
-Ground Zero
-Port Street

All very interesting things, I have never been one who loved seeing things, especially nature. But I love big buildings, I like the awkward claustrophobia of knowing you are outside but being surrounded by buildings that make it impossible to see a way out.

I don’t want to go home. I don’t

I can’t stay here forever though. As much as I’d like to, I know monks Mom wouldn’t like that too much. She is a pretty amazing lady though. I really have to thank the Medves family for letting me stay here so long. I love them more than they know.

I can only wonder when I’ll actually go through the motions of getting on the bus and heading home. I know warped tour is in Buffalo on the 24th. I missed out on meeting some people being here, maybe I will head back for then so I can make up for it.

I hate how I am the butt end of jokes with people back home, I hate that I confided (confound?) in someone to have them just turn around and say it to people. Real funny joke I suppose.

I’m not perfect, I know it. I try my best. I like lying, I cant help it, its to much easier than facing the truth. I like lying and then shutting down when I’m confronted about it. I don’t try to hurt people. I do though. Who doesn’t? I’m not trust worthy, I’m not. But people can confide in me, I’m not a gossip. I have no reason to share secrets.

I don’t know, nothing upsets me.

I have no heart.

Our hearts will beat in separate rooms tonight

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Misty Blue July 21, 2008 at 10:52 pm

I'm ready (enough for the both of us) for you to come home! <3

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