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I have the worst headache.

this Mac was supposed to make this so much easier. And so far it has, I mean, at a price.
Right away to record, I spend 400 bucks last week. Now, I want to start making new songs. But I can’t find anywhere to steal the synths and drum machines I want.
I look to see if I can buy them, The Native Instruments models are very highly acclaimed, aparently a good price aswell. The Battery Drum Pack is 250 US, and the Synth is 450. I will buy them, but I ust really wish I could pay for it right now.
Making music makes me happy.
Toss on the fact that I need to buy autotune to record my vocals, well that means 400 more.
This is way more than I can afford, It sucks, I really just wish I could have it all.
Toss in my car problems and the fact I’m STILL paying off this mac. Well, there you have it.
I am guessing that my Demos for awhile are going to consist of the drums that came with garage band and my synth plugged into my computer. Which means they will probably be lacking in the talent department, haha…
I guess I can make due with what I have, who knows maybe someone will want to put out a CD for me and they will help me pay to go to someone’s studio who already has this stuff.
I have had the most insane week. And I feel like shit about it.
I don’t have one relationship with one person on totally stable ground. It sucks to actually sit back and realize that I am really on the edge of losing all these people in my life. All of my relationships effect how I react to the other ones. So, all of these relationships going wrong means that pretty soon I’ll be all alone.
The only thing I listen to lately is Usher haha.
I know, I am behind the times, and his newest cd came out forever ago, but I just got into it.
And its good.
I have a migrane, it feels awesome!
I guess I’m going go to bed depressed and reflective on all this crap I brought on myself.
My good friend Gates called me today, He has an offer for me, an escape for a little while, and I really think that I will put my life on hold again and leave for a little while with him.
I think I need to get away…

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