Untitled Post (!&)

19/10/2008

Shaken.

Lately I’ve been nothing but shaken, to my very core. Everything I do in my life feels like a test I have to pass to prove I’m worthy of being.
I get messages Bi-daily from people laughing about the music I make. Thats easy to deal with. I thank them for their ongoing support and for visiting the page and move on. But like, I hear about someone new hating me everyday.
It’s nothing new. But the people are starting to surprise me.
There is this one guy, I’ve known him for a while. He is a really nice guy. I don’t know him enough to say we are friends, But I know him enough to have a conversation with him while he is working, or when I ran into him at the movies I took the time to have a more than “hello” conversation with him. To be polite I suppose.
Well, he hates me. And talks massive shit behind my back. Its a bummer considering 1) I always thought he was a pretty cool guy, and 2) I don’t know him to judge him like that. Why does he think he has the right?
I’ll get over it. But my trust in people is next to completely gone. I never want to leave my house. I have been taking a break from my music, with hopes that it will give me new insight and I can get some fresh idea’s for when i go back to write the lat couple of tunes for my EP.
Maybe this dance stuff isnt for me. I love it, but maybe I should be doing something thats more…expected of me?
I listen to a lot of Matt Good Band and other 90’s alternative outfits. Should I get educated on politics and other issues and develop opinions so people will respect me? Not saying that that is the only reason people like Matt Good. He is incredibly talented. By far the only person I have ever met that I feel was leagues above anything I will ever be.
But fuck, why do things have to be so hard to figure out. I’m 20. I feel no different, but I should.
Maybe it’s time to grow up.
MATTHEW GOOD BAND – ANTI-POP – THE AUDIO OF BEING (2001)

Let’s get the party started
All born to stay up late
No one gets out of this one
No one gets out of this

Got a life from life on TV
Two eyes that stay in my skull
Long enough to start belive
If you give it up they’ll love you for it
Give them blood and they’ll love you for it

You’re not my girl
You’re just tired

Do do do
Do do do
Do do do
Do do do

Let’s get the party started
All born to stay up late
No one gets out of this one
No one gets out of this

You’re not my girl
You’re just tired

Give it up and they’ll love you for it
Give them blood and they’ll love you for it

You’re not my girl
You’re just tired

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelsey October 19, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Don’t be bummed.. your music is great.

If it’s what you love doing.. then keep it up. Don’t sellout and make music you can’t stand just to make other people happy. They’re just jealous because you have the balls to do what you truly love.

Keep writing.. maybe this whole “hating” thing will give you more to write about?

You have so much talent, keep using it.

annikannik October 22, 2008 at 10:03 pm

ahhhh this is awkward
I somehow came across your page
well your like music stuff
from lurking haha but i dont have myspace anyore and yeahhh anyways
I actually like what youre trying to put out
and sometimes people are ridiculous and hate on everything .
that guy you barely knew is soo insignificant.
keep your head up??

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