What a wild week. Anyone who might have read my previous post about girls with boyfriends messaging me in seemingly more than friendly ways will recall that I have had that happen like 2 or 3 times this week.
Well, I have another one. Though I think that this goes across the board for everyone.
Do you ever notice how people who let their guard down around you will always act 3-4 times as tough when they think that you have hurt or betrayed them? Is that just human nature? Does this rule apply to me? Or am I always just a piece of shit?
Anyways, this has happened twice to me this week. Once with someone I was sort of involved with? And once with someone I was involved with a really long time ago.
Like what the hell, am I spending a week in the fifth dimension? Am I in an episode of “Sliders” (For all the old timers out there)? I have so many questions in this post! haha.
I don’t know how I feel about all these things, but hey, its a relief to have found out how many things are wrong with me. And how there isn’t one person in this world who relies on me because of how completely unreliable I am (My Words). It’s sort of a relief, to know that people really don’t give a shit after all. Instead of me hoping they do, instead of worrying that people care. It’s nice to think that there is 0 pressure for me to be there for anyone, that there is no worry or weight of it. Its sort of freeing.
I’m rambling, I know. But you see, when you have no one in your life, you really have nothing to do but sit at home and blog about how happy you are that you have no one in your life. HA. Is that ironic? I don’t know. I don’t ever use my brain for that stuff, so I forget how to analyze things, or I just don’t care.
Ramble Ramble Ramble.
Oh man. Perhaps I am just losing my mind. “All work and no play make Ernie a dull boy”?
On another note, Last night I had a conversation with a former band member. A person who at one point was the best friend I had ever had (who was also a bandmate). We sort of talked about how we fell out and the circumstances around it. How neither of us understood what happened between us and how we started hating each other over night.
After a few messages, he said, “I feel shitty for any shitty things I’ve done to you. Like….I trust you with my life, and learned a LOT about life with/through you.”
That meant a lot. Even for someone lacking in such a heart as I.
Now when he asks me to get coffee I won’t say I will until bailing at the last minute for no reason. haha.
Oh man, My head is a Mr. Toads Wild Ride. Actually, no, it isn’t. Mr. Toads Wild Ride is way sweeter then my brain. WAY sweeter. Totally miss space mountain though.
I miss Disneyland.