so why does everything I say just make you upset?

23/02/2009

I have nothing better to do, so it’s blog post time.

Work today, was cold. It wasn’t so bad though. I got home and checked out my tech stuff.

Boring day. I suppose.

I feel this want and need to be playing music growing more and more. I thought that I was fine with not doing it. Now I think that I just needed a break. Its so hard to find people to play with, especially when no one takes you serious.

Why can’t I just meet a group of guys willing to TRY something? Like fuck, it makes me lose my mind. I think that I am going to take my guitar and amp into the store to see if I can get them fixed/set up, and I’ll just try to write stuff on my own. Maybe if I can write a few songs, some people will know that I’m not as useless as I seem. Should I just start mingling with the music “scene” people that I have known for so long? What do I have to do? Its so frustrating and discerning.

As for other things, I don’t even know where to start.

I just thought it was obvious to everyone how much I didn’t care.

I thought that’s the thing that people liked about me, that there was no pressure, no worry. That one day I’d be there, and the next gone, and things would relatively be fine, and Vice Versa.

I like being empty, I like not having pressure and worry. I like not having another thing for me to worry about. I like being laid back.

I’m going to NY this weekend, there are things I am looking forward to, and some things I’m not looking to forward. I guess.

Stoked on the Lyndhurst Diner.

Very Stoked.

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