my lack of loyalty, it swallowed her up.

15/04/2009

I am feeling very… weird today.

Work was pretty good, I was done early, I really can’t complain about it. Though they still have yet to pay me, which is irritating, as I have a car payment coming out on the 18th that I will have to borrow money from my mother to pay. I am sure they will still be holding back my money by then as well. I mean, its already been half a month, why not make it a full one?

Unfortunately for me, this means even more use of my credit card to get by, almost literally scraping. Even this means of sustaining myself is getting to its end. I am somewhere close to 2000 of my 2500 dollar credit limit, after buying my much needed (I assure you) iPod online the other night.

Apparently my pay at the end of the month will be set up as such that I will be able to bring my credit card debt back down to a level that was just regular debt, rather than stressful massive debt.

I watched “V for Vendetta” for the first time tonight. I have to say that it was a quite incredible movie, very, for lack of a better phrasing, noble.

Other than that I have yet to watch “Man on Wire”, which as I am saying this I am thinking I should probably put in right now. Though, I wish I were able to watch a movie and listen to music at the same time, as it seems I am torn between the two.

I have been downloading a lot of music lately, along with uploading iPods and such, expanding my music library to be quite large. I have also been listening to old “anthems” of my past. The albums I would listen to in the past, from my teenage years, and even from earlier. There is a lot of great music that gets pushed aside to make room for the new, sometimes its nice to reflect on the older stuff. Especially since the reality is that what you listen to now is being recycled, in one way or another, from something someone (or many someone’s) have done in the past.

I have been working on getting a new band together, well sort of. I have just been wanting to do something, anything, even small. I have been talking to a couple friends about it. One friend is already in another band, and this would just be a “for fun” project. My other friend wants this to be a main focus, and wants to try and get it moving in a much more serious fashion. He had convinced me that we should be serious from the beginning and focus on getting this band into playing shows just as soon as its ready.

Now I hear that the guitar player he had lined up to play in this project wants to re-unite his old band, if even just “for fun”. I was told that this would just be to do something, and to play shows, and that the project with me would be the main focus. Then I was asked if I wanted to play bass in their band (the re-united one).

“It won’t be the same as LR because we don’t have the huge fan base, but we also don’t have the drama, gossip, rape rumors, etc.”

I politely declined, and now I can’t help but wonder if this will fall apart, just like every other project I try to set up. Now I will be the only person involved who doesn’t have some other project taking part, if not most of my attention.

Its so fucking discerning.

I was going to say more, I was going to ponder things, I was going say some things I probably just keep to myself. Now I know that me saying that just means that I will be getting at least one text asking what those things are. Because people are predictable. I’ll say it now, just like I will have to say when I get the message about it.

I don’t care to speak of these things, as they are irrelevant. So please just leave it at that.


I need a haircut, sorely.

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