the morning after, I will kiss your ghost

16/06/2009

Well, two weeks.

Two weeks till I officially have my own place to live in. It’s kind of weird to think that. It’s also a little hard to come to terms with the fact that I am accepting the way things are and trying to make the best out of it. I mean, I spent so much time trying to force things into the image of what I hoped them to be.

Maybe I had my fun, and now I need to grow up. Better it happened, if even for a brief time then not at all..right?

I don’t know, that is the only way that I can seem to rationalize it. When I start to think about it all, I feel panicky. This morning I felt what could only be described as what a mid-life crisis must feel like. At work, ready to have a meltdown. Sort of pathetic.

I don’t know what’s up, things in my head are more mixed up than they have ever been. Okay, I shouldn’t say that, but I am doing things and acting ways that even I never thought I would.

Anyways, I am buying a new couch and bed, and then buying everything else for my apartment once I can afford it, I really don’t want to bury myself in a hole here, it’s called trying to be a little responsible…at least.

This week I have been listening to a lot of He Is Legend, The album “I am hollywood” specifically. Though, not the songs I really used to love on the album. This time through I am stuck on the softer songs in the middle, the ones that seem more thought out and don’t rely on hooks and catchy lyrics, as the title track takes full advantage of. Take a serious listen to it if you aren’t familiar with the disk.

If you can get past the screaming, or even enjoy it, the album is very worth it.

It’s already 12:37, I have been tired since 11. I think I am getting really old, officially. I wan’t to be going to bed at 11 every night.

I dont like that.

lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, lock me up.

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