all the empty things disguised as me.

24/09/2009

I have been really mopey this week. I bet its annoying. I bet to some of you.

I bet to others, you just read it and think “I wish I could help”.
At least thats what I think people might think, but what do I know? I am pretty self centred.
I can fully recognize my faults, its not like I am blind to the way I feel/think/act.
But thats just what I am, I am a self hater. No matter what, I will always look down on myself. I could win a nobel prize, and complain about how earning it ruined my chance at a personal life. I could have a million dollars and I would complain about not having enough friends.
That is just what I do. I fear I will always do it.
I don’t know what point I am trying to make, but I am just venting out the fact that I am not as lost as I am sure I make it seem. I have some issues, and yes, I look for attention. I get lonely, and I get antisocial. I am a crayyyzay guy. I like extremes I suppose.
I think at this point I am just trying to rationalize my attention seeking posts. I do feel those ways though, and the reality is that the internet is the only thing I can tell it to. I don’t have people I can vent these thing to. Well maybe I do, but I am too awkward to say it out loud.
I just worry that in my entire life I will never amount to anything.
I think that is a pretty wide spread worry, no?


set me free.

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