It’s on Janes, it’s on (Part 2)

15/12/2009

For anyone who does not yet know, last week I sent the fine people of Janes Family Foods an email regarding quality control. Needless to say, you don’t email a faceless corporation to tell them how much you love their work. For a full recap on that post, Click here.

Today while I was finishing my mail route, I received an email in response. It was send from a woman named Cathy, a pretty generic response (which I expected), but here it is:

From: “Cathy ——”

Date: December 10, 2009 1:01:17 PM EST
To: “Ernie Berces”
Subject: RE: Quality Control – Inquiry # 21551 = RESPONSE from Janes Family Foods

Good Afternoon Mr. Berces:

Thank you for contacting us regarding Janes Chicken Breast Fillets. We
appreciate you bringing this matter to our attention.

At Janes Family Foods, we strive to provide our customers with high
quality products and we appreciate you taking the time to let us know
that this product did not meet your expectations.

Strict quality control measures are in place for all food products
manufactured and processed at our facilities. All of our raw materials
and finished products are subjected to continuous inspection by our
quality control and plant personnel. Every stage of our processing is
designed to prevent food safety hazards and quality concerns.

In order for our Quality Assurance department to investigate further, we
would appreciate if you could provide the following:

* On the side box, where the tear away tab is located on the outside
green panel, you will find a small call 4 digits and a letter [i.e.
1234A] in white ink

* On the bag, inside of the box, will be a small black computer printed
code [i.e. 1234A 24:00]

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience caused and thank you
again for taking the time to let us know about your experience.

As a token of our appreciation for your support, we will be happy to
mail you [1] free coupon that can be used towards your next purchase for
any Janes product. Please provide your complete mailing address, along
with your phone number [to be used for our internal database for
resolution or inquiry purposes only].

If you have any other inquiries or questions, please feel free to call
us at 1-800-565-2637.

Sincerely,

Cathy ——
Consumer Relations Coordinator
Janes Family Foods
Tel # : 905-673-7145 ext 2237
“Homemade Taste your Family will Love”

While I had originally decided that I didn’t want to turn this into a conversation, I think that I will at least reply to this response. After all, I assumed I wouldn’t see a reply at all. So here is my response to Cathy:

Good evening Cathy (If I may so refer to you by your first name),
I must apologize for the delay in correspondence, I do realize that this issue is important. I wouldn’t to convey the notion that my writing you was of any less importance then that of which I may have made it seem.  I must also thank you for the haste you made with replying to me. I realize that there must be a major commotion over all of this. After all, Janes Fine Family Foods has built a relationship with the consumer based on quality and care, not that of chicken skin and/or tendons which the robotic workers may have accidentally forgotten to remove.
As per your previous message, I have taken it upon myself to procure the information you require, I stopped at nothing to ensure I tracked down the box which I had already thrown out. Luckily, it was not too late to save these numbers for you, which I assume is to ascertain which production facility and subsequently which robot made such a grave error in computational error. I hope it is not sold for scrap metal, though it’s punishment is left completely at your discretion.
The information which you require is: 2899D and 2899D 21:18.
In response to your request Cathy Vining, your request to mail me a coupon for one free box of any Janes Fine Family Foods products, I reluctantly accept. Below I will give my address for you to in change forward to anyone who may be involved with the printing, sealing and mailing of this coupon.

I believe this to be all the information you requested for. I thank you for your courtesy, and while I have enjoyed our communication on the issues, I must say that I do not wish to speak with you again. Do not fret, for this is only because I am confident that Janes Fine Family Foods will not wrong me again. For as they say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Thank you my most courteous Consumer Relations Coordinator, and I bid you a fond adieu.
Sincerely
Ernie Berces.

“Good evening Cathy (If I may so refer to you by your first name),

I must apologize for the delay in correspondence, I do realize that this issue is important. I wouldn’t to convey the notion that my writing you was of any less importance then that of which I may have made it seem.  I must also thank you for the haste you made with replying to me. I realize that there must be a major commotion over all of this. After all, Janes Fine Family Foods has built a relationship with the consumer based on quality and care, not that of chicken skin and/or tendons which the robotic workers may have accidentally forgotten to remove.

As per your previous message, I have taken it upon myself to procure the information you require, I stopped at nothing to ensure I tracked down the box which I had already thrown out. Luckily, it was not too late to save these numbers for you, which I assume is to ascertain which production facility and subsequently which robot made such a grave error in computational error. I hope it is not sold for scrap metal, though it’s punishment is left completely at your discretion.

The information which you require is: 2899D and 2899D 21:18.

In response to your request Cathy Vining, your request to mail me a coupon for one free box of any Janes Fine Family Foods products, I reluctantly accept. Below I will give my address for you to in change forward to anyone who may be involved with the printing, sealing and mailing of this coupon.

REDACTED INFORMATION

I believe this to be all the information you requested for. I thank you for your courtesy, and while I have enjoyed our communication on the issues, I must say that I do not wish to speak with you again. Do not fret, for this is only because I am confident that Janes Fine Family Foods will not wrong me again. For as they say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Thank you my most courteous Consumer Relations Coordinator, and I bid you a fond adieu.

Sincerely
Ernie Berces.”

Well, there it is, an exciting addition to the story, and that is probably all there will be. I suspect in 4-6 weeks I will get a coupon, and I doubt I will even use it. I have a feeling I will, if only to try and get another defective batch of  chicken. Not only would that be utterly hilarious, but it would not end well for them.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

jebus December 16, 2009 at 1:01 pm

I know Cathy’s last name.

Ernie December 16, 2009 at 3:42 pm

I know chief, its in the email she sent me.

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