iPads, closed down KFC’s and utter hilarity (Pt.1)


I can easily say that my friday was much more eventful than yours. If you are doubtful, I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

Alright. So Monday night I had still not received the invoice with the shipping for the iPad I had won on eBay Friday. I was frustrated and decided to message the seller to see if I could get out of it seeing as by the time I had received it, I would be able to buy one here straight from apple, for 80 dollars less than I was going to be paying to this guy.

I wake up and go to work Tuesday, first thing I see when I open up Twitteriffic on my phone is a post from Gizmodo with the title “Apple Delays International iPad Launch by One Month”. Great, 20 minutes after I end up getting a reply from the seller thanking me for backing out because he had no idea how to ship something to Canada (Freaking noob).  I then get a smart idea; I will just drive to Buffalo with my pay on Thursday and buy a bunch of iPads to sell on eBay, grabbing myself one in the process.

I call the Apple Store at the Walden Galleria in Buffalo first thing Thursday morning only to find that they are sold out at the present moment. Just as I begin to finally accept the fact that I will have to wait for them to come to Canada, the Apple Employee lets me know that they are expecting a shipment within a few hours and there will probably be some in it. I am told to call back in a few hours. I do just that.

When I call I am told that they only received “limited quantities” of the 32 and 64 Gigabyte iPads only. This kind of bugs me a little, I really only wanted the 16Gb version, but I still want to grab a couple to try and turn a profit on. During this call I ask if there is a purchase limit on them. Limit 2 per person. Damn. I now need to get someone to go with me.

I hang up and text realize that not only do I need another person for this eBay scheme, I have an Optometrist appointment at 3:15 and can’t go to Buffalo tonight. I make plans to go immediately after work on Friday. I invite Dylan to come and we make arrangements for me to grab him in Hamilton on the way (The GO bus is faster and cheaper to Hamilton rather than Guelph). I go to my eye exam, find out that I am more nearsighted than last time and have an angioma (a cyst like thing) on my eyeball which is the reason why my right eye is always bloodshot. I think I posted about that already or something. I don’t know (Update: I did). I then get new glasses and go to bed early to prepare for my Friday.

I get up hours before I normally do and finish my job as fast as possible. I get done and realize I am actually a full half an hour before I originally planned. I clean my car a little, fill up the gas tank, get a car wash and take out $1500 US. I abandoned the idea of flipping iPads on eBay earlier in the day because I didn’t like the idea of my rent money being stuck in a form I couldn’t pay rent with. At this point I am only getting one for myself, and one for my stepfather.

I head to Hamilton and get there a little early too, so I took a walk around the block, it was still nice out at that point. Dylan arrives and we head to New York. The drive is filled with tons of ridiculous conversation and stupid jokes. We get to the border and the guy must have been having a bad day; we were hassled, but not as bad as we could have been. I couldn’t tell if his interest in the iPads I had mentioned going to buy was personal or if he was trying to see if I was lying.

We get to the Galleria, and head to the Apple Store. I was supposed to have called to make sure they didn’t sell out before we left for Buffalo. Sometime within a couple hours of getting to work I had decided that we were going no matter what, even if it was only to experience the new KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich. For more information please watch the following advert:

Upon arriving at the store, I begin to wander around, confused as to how the process to purchase something works there. I have never actually bought anything in an Apple Store in my life, I felt to inexperienced.  I grab a girl and ask her how to get them, she puts me into the que to talk to someone and lets me know that they only have the 64Gb iPad left in stock. I double check the price while I worry that while the jump from 16-32Gb is only $100, the jump from 32-64Gb may very well be $200 (for a total price of $799, pretty up there). She confirms that the 64Gb is $699, still getting up there, but justifiable in my eyes. I can now pre-load an entire HD season of a show on it and not have to worry about deleting and updating every few episodes; convenience McFly, convenience.

We wait. Eventually I am approached by an overzealous fellow who confirms that I wanted to buy a couple of iPads; I confirm. He says they may have some 16’s in the back, but he thinks they only have the 64’s. I say that I will take 2 of whatever they have.

He comes back with two (64Gb, of course) and then proceeds to try and get me to add on cases for them. I am only interested in the official Apple case (Its really nice AND can be used as a stand, alright). He goes to the back to see if they have any, they don’t. What they do magically have in the back room is 2 copies of the Apple-care Warranty Extension Programs, who’d of thought? He asks if I would be interested. I am not (by the time the regular warranty is up I will be well on my way to updating to the next version, sad, but true). He tries to continue the pitch and convince me it’s something I truly need for my iPad. As he is doing this, he moves to set the two iPads in his hand on the table we are standing at.

Making sure not to break eye contact in his pitch, he fails to notice that the two $700 iPads are not being placed far enough over the edge of the table. Sure enough, the moment he loosens his grip they both drop 4 feet to the floor. The moment they land I for some reason am right on top of it and I point and exclaim, “YOU MEAN FOR STUFF LIKE THAT?!”

Dylan is so completely taken back by the accident he is only able to muster out, “Looks like YOU should have gotten it.”
You see, Dylan usually has such rapier wit; it’s really quite impressive. I think that while his response was still pretty good, especially combined with mine to make a 1-2 whammy on this Apple Employee, he would have usually come out with something so much more hilarious. Everyone has their off days.

The guy, Eric (or possibly Ernie, neither of us listened when he said his name), says that he is going to go grab 2 different ones from the back and abandons his pitch. I start laughing so hard that I am unable to stand. I stumble around the store without a care for how I look. I finally prop myself up against a pillar and try to calm myself. The giggles continued and eventually slowed. He comes back out and begins the sales transaction. I pull out the $1500 cash and he tells me that they can’t do cash for iPads (so that they are able to enforce the 2 per person rule). Good thing I was paid the day before, or I wouldn’t have been able to put $1000 on my credit card to pay for them. We leave the store, I am still laughing about everything that just happened. At this point, I don’t even care about the iPad, the trip was already worth it.

At this point I must say that it is almost 2am and I am just passing 1440 words for this post. I will finish the rest of the story tomorrow, which I ensure will be as hilarious as the first. Seriously.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Misty April 18, 2010 at 2:13 am

I think it’s more of a you had to be there thing… Although the idiot dropping them was pretty hilarious. Though the extended warranty wouldn’t even cover physical damage I’m sure.

Ernie April 18, 2010 at 2:17 am

I assume that it doesn’t translate as well through text as it would if I was fully able to express it through spoken words.

It was intense.

James Toenders April 20, 2010 at 5:26 pm

2 days later, and still no pt. 2

Ernie April 20, 2010 at 5:44 pm

I hadn’t realized that anyone was actually waiting on the second part. With that in mind, I’ll try to get it online before LOST, it shouldn’t be as long as the last one.

James Toenders April 20, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Bad ass

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