Be Careful Who You Do, Karma Comes Back Around.


I’m suposed to be an adult, aren’t I?

As an extension of that, my life should be surrounded with people who are adults also. Correct?
It feels like these days I am still stuck in the endless cycle of recycled drama I was involved in when I was eighteen. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because the people I choose to populate my life with or the people I speak to that happen to be in a certain area relative to the place I live.

I’m just trying to get better. I’m just trying to be better. Why is that so hard?

Are people just looking out for me, really? Are people just looking for attention from me until they have someone else to give it to them? Am I alive?

Am I a real human being? I seriously feel less and less like one every day.

I should take the way I am feeling and post it anonymously on my secret Tumblr and leave it from the view of people that know me. I should post it anonymous and just bury the things I am feeling towards all these people and retreat inside of myself. That’s how it has always worked; and try as I might, that is how it always will.

I really need to get over that God awful city.

I think I am going to avoid sleep tonight; because I hate it.

I hate sleeping so God damned much.

Fuck I want a smoke.


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous September 15, 2012 at 2:05 am

You’ve not changed a whole lot.
It’s a shame we never kept in contact.
Seems like a good unconnected contact would do you good.
I’d love to get lost in your brain for a few hours.
My eyes are burning it’s time for bed so I’ll cut this short.

Ernie September 16, 2012 at 11:37 am

Not that you’ll get this reply, since you chose to remain anonymous, but I have changed quite a bit. Sure, I’ve got my problems, but who doesn’t?

Also, I don’t think you had the forethought to VPN your IP, I know it was sent from Kelowna. I’m not going to spend my day trying to figure out who I know that lives there, but chances are you never knew me as much as you’d like to think.

"Anonymous" bc acquaintance September 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ah but I did get it!
I don’t doubt you have changed a lot but you still seem like you at the same time, does that make sense?
I don’t claim to know you, and definitely not well.

jason ladeira November 4, 2012 at 9:46 am

i am a self absorbed jerk who does not care about what could be going on in other peoples lives.
i only think about myself and i am so insecure that i always put other people down, say mean things about them to try to make myself look better. i talk behind everyone’s back, i do it to all my friends and even my family. i am a horrible person and i know that karma is coming back to me for all the mean things i have done and said that i thought nobody knew about. maybe i really should think back about who i have hurt with my words and try to be a better person. if anyone can help me be a kinder person, please call me.

jason ladeira

Ernie November 14, 2012 at 1:56 am

ernieberces [AT}

I’m a good talker, and I’m always willing to listen.

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